training: a wonderful notion.

Yesterday went for a run. Which, despite the fact that I will run 26.2 miles in 16 weeks, is rare.

My marathon training consists of 95% talking about running the marathon and only 5% running. Either way, I went for a run. It was 5 am. I thought "this is perfect, I can blog about running at 5am and everyone will know how good training is going!"

but that would be lame.

I cut through Millennium Park on the way to the Lakefront.

Sheriff Looking Lady: I wish you wouldn't have done that!
Me: ... huh?
Sheriff Looking Lady: I wish you would have waited 45 minutes before entering my park!
Me: Oh. Sorry.
Me: Is the park closed?
Sherrif Looking Lady: Yes.
Me: Ok.

I start to run back to the gate where I entered.

Sheriff Looking Lady: WOOOAHAHAAAAAA!!!
Me: (bewildered with touch of impatience) What!?
Sheriff Looking Lady: YOU CAN'T GO THAT WAY!

Two more security guard sheriffs appear. They block the path.
My attempt to exit the park from where I entered is temporarily thwarted.

Sheriff Looking Lady: YOU HAVE TO LEAVE!
Me: (quickly losing my temper) THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING!
Sheriff Looking Lady: YOU CAN'T GO THAT WAY!
Me: (now i'm angry) THAT'S WHERE I CAME IN!

Sheriff Looking Lady motions to a different gate, this one 20 feet east of where I entered.

The other security guard sheriffs grab their guns. (haha, not true.)
The other security guard sheriffs narrow their eyes. (haha, probably not true, but possible.)
The other security guards stand still, looking tough. (sort-of)
The other security guards don't look like runners.

I start jogging towards the gate that Sheriff Lady pointed me to. Suddenly! boldly! brazenly! I change course. Veering right on the sidewalk, and start towards the forbidden gate I entered. At a crazy fast pace. The security guards had never seen a ten-minute mile before. I never looked back.

"Who was that good-looking, young, employed, very not creepy, single, trouble-making runner?" The Sheriff Looking Lady would later wonder. "Could I have chased him down?"

The answer is no, Sheriff Looking Lady. No, you couldn't have caught up to me. I can run a 10k in over an hour.